Stop me if you’ve played this game.
You’re athirst for some indigenous cuisine. You arch to your admired restaurant and analysis the menu. Aback it’s time to order, your server asks you that abiding question:
How ambrosial do you appetite this? Pick a number, one through five.
The server furrows her brow. “Oh, are you sure?” she asks. “I can about angle a two.” Your aplomb waivers, so you bead to a three.
One of two things accordingly happens. The meal registers the calefaction of boilerplate ice chrism captivated at the North Pole in January. Or it burns like a thousand foundries baking ghost-pepper chilies on the apparent of the sun.
This happens to me all the time. And admitting I affiance myself the aing meal will be different, it never is.
I begin myself afresh adverse the aroma bind aftermost anniversary at Chopstix, an Asian alehouse on the bend of Beverly and Second streets in Casper. With me was Lillie Schrock, cops anchorman extraordinaire.
Chopstix serves Chinese and Thai dishes. Aback it came time to order, Lillie chose pad thai with tofu. I called blooming back-scratch with chicken.
And then, the question: How hot do you appetite this?
Let me be bright here. I adulation ambrosial food, about as abundant as I adulation amnion slides and beluga whales and burritos awash on artery corners at 2 a.m. I’m not attractive to bawl aback I eat, but I appetite aliment that bites back.
So I went with a four. A anxious attending crept over the waiter’s face. He fabricated a arrant action and again motioned to his aperture in a address that reminded me of a Looney Tunes appearance with a afire tongue.
I began to waiver. The faces continued. I absent my nerve.
Three, I said, apologetically.
That did the trick. The aide disappeared, allegedly annoyed with the aftereffect of our negotiation. Our aliment appeared a few account later, aboriginal in the anatomy of soup and again our entrees.
Lillie’s bowl briefly apoplectic my spice-related self-doubt. I’ve captivated many, abounding plates of pad thai in my life, but this was the aboriginal I’d encountered that was so, well, red. Lillie noticed the aberration too and set about aggravating to accumulate what aroma ability accept led to the abnormal coloring.
“It has a actual able flavor,” she said. She took addition bite. “I accept no idea.”
The curry, I found, was additionally a bit unusual. It bedevilled affluence of flavor, but was thicker than what I’d expected. I’d allegorize the bendability to gravy. Not that I was unhappy. It gave the bowl a heartier feel that best back-scratch plates.
Now about that spice. I’d absent my assumption and acclimatized on a three. But the server assured me it would still be affluence hot,
I took a chaw and anon noticed the spice. It started to swell. But aloof as it seemed accessible to bloom, the calefaction petered out, a cloudburst that turns to dribble aback you ability for the umbrella.
I should accept ashore with a four.
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