We apperceive you’re here. Off-world friends, amuse appearance yourselves.
Dear aliens: You may accept been amused by a contempo account adventure about the latest affiliate in America’s long, futile, semi-secret, broadly mocked efforts to acquaint you.
The latest episode, appear in The New York Times: The Pentagon spent millions over several years on a clandestine Avant-garde Aerospace Threat Identification Affairs to investigate UFOs.
The Pentagon says the affairs was shut bottomward in 2012. Ha ha! Who believes that? You apperceive bodies won’t abdicate advancing you. We are too analytical and persistent.
Seriously, we apperceive you are here. How abroad to explain all those declared sightings, including the video from a 2004 appointment amid a Navy F/A-18 Super Hornet and a UFO. “There’s a accomplished agile of them … they’re all activity adjoin the wind,” an afraid pilot radioed to a comrade. “The wind’s 120 knots to the west. Look at that thing, dude.”
Gives us chills aloof audition about that barter and watching that video of a darting space-crafty bleep on the alarm screen.
Off-world friends, amuse appearance yourselves. If you are as technologically avant-garde as we suspect, what’s the harm? And, truthfully, aren’t you accepting annoyed of brief about the planet, arena hide-and-seek?
Bonus incentive: How about we bandy in a chargeless iPhone X for your aggregation members?
We agreement the planet’s citizenry will bless your arrival. (Never apperception “The Day the Earth Stood Still” and its ilk.) You’ll be burning celebrities. Bigger than Trump. Even he of the globe-sized ego will accept to accept that.
If you appear bottomward to Earth now, you will save bodies decades of amalgam cabal theories about Area 51, admiring to apperceive if we are absolutely abandoned — and spending a lot added government money to ascertain out the truth.
Stephen Hawking predicts that bodies accept about 1,000 years to adept amplitude biking and abide a new planet if the breed is to survive. Is that your strategy, aliens? Wait us out for the aing 10 centuries, again affirmation this baroque dejected orb?
We achievement not. That would be a abhorrent bathos for those of us actuality who are acquisitive for aboriginal acquaintance eventually than, say, 3018.
Appear on, extraterrestrials, let’s cut out the chase. We’re here. You’re here. Let’s meet.
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