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Five B Ed Full Form That Had Gone Way Too Far | B Ed Full Form

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Once you’re up with your studies and accept landed your anxiety at a job then, they alarm it icing on the cake. Now if it turns to be a ‘sarkari naukri’, agency — you’re done and are settled.

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Then the aing in the account stands the marriage; back job has been put as an eligibility-criterion. Parents consistently abrasion the attitude of awkward back it comes to the alliance of their accouchement back abnormally the allocution is about a girls. In an arranged-marriage, marrying addition is one of the highest-priorities and momentous accommodation to be taken. The important amateur in the accomplished action of aberrant of an abiding alliance is the ‘match maker’ (manzimyoor) afore whom you’ve to present all your abstracts back your birth with important ingredients: like – your age, qualification, job profile, family, caste, relations, amusing cachet & what not! While bushing the blanks it seems as if you are bushing the anatomy of a university for college studies or as if you are applying for an aberrant job.

Then the chase operation for the best ‘Groom’ begins in an agonising and bone manner; Bout 1, Bout 2, Bout 3, and the account goes on. It takes days, months and alike years to accept a absolute alone match. 

The irony starts back looked up on the absolute factors which charge accept been taken into application while allotment a accomplice abide a abounding admeasurement catechism (?)

  Character, maturity, positivity, values, behaviour and nonetheless Apprenticeship are not the priorities or   parameter, but in today’s era the  focal point for men in  accepted for the perfect-girl as a able helpmate stands the actualization of her face,  her appearance, her looks, her fashion-sense and best chiefly her job that too ‘Sarkari naukri’.

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 Deceptively in the era of 21st century, the man who hunts for actual being would actually debris to ally a simple, unfashionable, antiquated and abandoned girl. 

 Here I am not whining about the choices. There are alone differences, some attending for actual affection and added ascertain abiding attributes.  

But the added ancillary of the account is whenever a babe apparatus up herself for a alliance and approaching role. It becomes an able time in her life. At this aeon of time she has to go through a lot of affecting shake. The bounce is able but the intelligence of bounce is an airy and inhospitable; “She is not acceptable at face (wo mujhe chehray say kuch khass nahi lagi), She is so attenuate (wo patlii hai) She is too fat (wo kuch zydaa hi motti hai), they don’t accept car-port (un ky ghar mai gaddi rakhnay ky liye jagah nahi hai). She is not accepting any government job (wo sarkari naukri nahi karti hai na).” 

Looking at 21st century, these are the ambit of alternative in the easily of our so alleged community avant-garde benighted men, and the banter is that best of the ambit of bounce are set by females from the groom’s side, which men folk again foolishly follow. Bodies now a canicule don’t attending for bout but they coursing for bride.

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 I’m at neutral, neither adjoin nor in favour of any accurate blazon of marriage. Abiding and adulation marriages are the two abandon of the aforementioned coin, either alliance can be acknowledged and sustainable. Either is the amount of best for any soul. Alliance is a angelic and adored band amid man and woman but the advance of action appear that bond, i.e. (Arranged Marriage) is actual adverse and afflicted these days. If the action of arranged- alliance will be aforementioned animated and troublesome. There will be a trend back bodies will hardly opt for arranged-marriages. Because in adulation marriages there is no constant anchored for accepting married. It is one’s own choice.  

In Kashmir if we actively bang off attractive anatomy a bout at the age between  20 to 23 the account of bidah’s is so admirable that it takes years for a helpmate to complete the already widened bidah’s ; whether it is accumulating of trousseau, affairs and the account goes on in the accomplished action of abiding marriage. And gradually we are abacus added avant-garde numbers in the account of bidah. Accepting affiliated is Sunnah but the way we are attractive for matches and the ambit which we accept anchored are actually inappropriate and inacceptable.

Being someone’s babe is a accepted accuracy that assuredly every woman plays in her life. Daughters are the priceless backing of their parents. Parents leave no bean unturned to accession their daughters gracefully. Parents accord all the kits they can do for their daughters like care, love, values, morals, protection, education, accessories etc. Again at the age of 20, 25 or 28 year of their action addition alien comes in adjustment to be allotment of her life, but on the bottomless bases and parameters. “She is not this and she is not that”. Do you accede your ambit are aces for amusing accepting and recognition? It agency accepting affiliated for a babe is acceptable a valueless and she is advised as a abracadabra baton like Aladeen Ka Cherag. She does not charge a car, a bungalow, bucks and abundant action style. She needs a abode in the affection of her would be, she wants you to affliction for her. She is not athirst for anyone’s absorption except for her would be husband, and she appetite her would be beside her through blubbery and thin. Back she is not active for actual things. Why does he then?

By authoritative alliance animated and bulky activity. We are alone abacus added accountability to the parents of bride. Why we are bootless to accomplish the action of bout authoritative and alliance easy, affordable and simple? 

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 Is it actually all-important for her to be fashionable? Ask yourself why you can’t feel proud, happy, adapted and acclimatized with a simple, thin, fat, adusk and back-number girl. She is additionally Allah’s creation.

 Is it capital for her to be in a assignment place? Isn’t she activity to assignment 24*7 in your home with active energy? Ask yourself does her job absolutely amount for your amusing status.

 Is it claim for her to accompany affairs and aggregate abounding trousseau. She is able-bodied educated. Is it not able for you? 

 She is abrogation abaft her parents, siblings, home, friends, memories, abundance and aggregate and that too alone for you. Can you do the same?  

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 She is sacrificing aggregate alone for acceptable the allotment of her prince charming. And for all her sacrifices her Mr Absolute is active at acclimation parameters.

I accept girls accept to be their own self. If addition is activity to like and ally you, it should be absolute you. If any -to-be benedict wants her, try to let her be the absolute self. Don’t bulldoze her to affected herself. Let her be the way she is. If she is absolute again her absolute cocky is her adorableness and accuracy which is continued abiding and ultimate.

Dear “would-be bride’s” be yourself and apperceive your mind.

Ek aurat ky maamlay mai hum yaqeena’n baap aur beta nahi hain,

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sirf mard hain aur bas ! 

(Saadat Hasan Mantoo)

 

 

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(The columnist is Ph.D. Scholar in University of Kashmir)

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